Personal Reflection: This weekend was great on the retreat. Yes, at times it was stressful, uncomfortable, and stretching, but all in all it was a good learning experience in which a lot of the times I had fun. The challenging part was taking 28 jr. and sr. high students to a city where lots of respect is due to our founding fathers and soldiers who have lost their lives fighting for our freedom (freedom of religion and speech for one!) The kids struggled with being respectful at some spots, but they amazed me at other spots. To see their interest in the holocaust museum and how their hearts broke for Danny (one of the exhibits at the holocaust museum). One of my favorite memories was a student who walked up to me (I have no idea who it was) and saying, "God is so evident here and was so evident back when our country began, how could some people not recognize this?" I was amazed by the maturity of the statement, especially because we were in the Arlington cemetary - a place where many wouldn't see God.
I also learned that it is okay to get on a student for doing something they shouldn't do (okay, this is something i am constantly learning). I have a very hard time being mean and when I do it I feel like I go back on what I just said a few minutes later. I am learning that it is important to maintain control which means sometimes getting on a student for doing something they shouldn't do, but doing it in a way that you reaffirm that you still love them and care about them. Kyle does a great job at this. I got to talk to him a bit about this struggle and it wasn't necessarily me bringing it up, he confronted me about it, but in a way that we also talked about other things I was learning on the trip. Kyle is always pointing out tips or learning areas and it may not be a weakness but he always will say, "here this is something you need to know about youth ministry".
The trip was great and I learned a lot. I will hate not being able to do the retreat with them next year since I will not be at IWU anymore after graduation, but I will always have these great memories!
Spiritual Reflection: These last two weeks have been a lot for me. Some situations have risen with the girls I live with that has affected all of us. There was a time two weeks ago when sitting in chapel was a struggle for me because I didn't understand the entire situation and how God was going to show us through. Please know that its nothing to do with me, but because I live with one of the girls it is affecting me. Some things we come to know we just don't understand and that is okay. I am learning to turn it all over to God. The "high" I felt I was on has withered a bit since the first time i posted (only 4 weeks ago) and that is okay. But believe me, I am doing my best to fully rely on God. One thing I have learned is there is a lot of things which are too big for us to handle. We need to hand those things over to God and let Him answer these huge prayer requests. I have a list of requests that I try to pray over every day. I actually learned this from a devotional i was doing and this was the suggestion. The challenge is that we are to wait and see how God answers them. I know He will answer and I can't wait to see His answer.
In ministry, I am learning to wait paitently for God. I love working with youth, but I'm not sure if this is exactlly where God wants me in the long run. I love learning about youth ministry and I love doing it, but I'm really searching God and what it is He is leading me to. I believe with all my heart He has called me into full time ministry, I'm just trying to figure out where it is in full time ministry He is leading me. Being my final year its scary thinking that I'm not sure what I want or what God wants for me, but I know He'll show me in His timing. I'm learning to fully rely on Him on this area too.
Hey...Glad you had an excellent time on retreat! It is always so nice to get away from life, even just for a weekend, to reflect and grow as an individual and as a group.
ReplyDeleteI understand what you mean about getting on to kids when they mess up. It is so hard to be firm, but not mean. That is my goal, though. I want to be firm with them in order to show that I love and care about them, but for me it is also earning the respect that I deserve as an "adult" leader. I want them to know that I care about them, and this is why it is important to get on them when necessary.
Again, I'm glad you had a great time!